take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
