Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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