a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize