Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
