Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
