he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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