I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
