And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Randomize
