Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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