i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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