Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
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