I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
