is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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