butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Randomize
