were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My vagina is officially offended.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
