It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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