Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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