im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
