I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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