I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
