I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Come share oat with me in your robe
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
