the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
