if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
