There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize