yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
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