i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
