fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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