Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
