I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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