Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
50% drunk capacity currently
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
