its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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