i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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