Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
