i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
