My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
