i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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