You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
it's like iHOP with fire
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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