I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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