She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
