everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
