I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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