And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
