Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
that is very illegal...i love you.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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