Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
