I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Do vagina's smell?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
