Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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