I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
