I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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