Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
