The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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