Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
