I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
