Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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