please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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