We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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