is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
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I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
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I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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