Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
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Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
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I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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