That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
